I done gotted tagged by somebody. This person, The Tagger we will call them, was apparently tagged by another person, who apparently was tagged by another person, who, well, I'm starting to feel an infinite regress coming on. To shorten and Interestingize (though that may be counting the monkitties before they hatch) this little ditty, let me just say that from what I was able to glean from the whole 'write four things you've heard and never forgotten' rules (as they were explained to me by one of those emotion driven yaboites so, as always, consider the source) I am supposed to write some number (I think somewhere between 9 and -2) things which I have heard (this may be difficult for me as this would seem to depend on my having actually listened to someone other than myself and the guy who talks to me from my 'inside') and not forgotten (what was I saying?).

Here goes whatever I just said:

1.) "Were you drinking soda?" - Said to me by my older brother, during a phone conversation, after he said something that made me laugh and I told him he'd caused soda to come out of my nose. He was very disappointed to learn that I had, indeed, been drinking soda and he did not have a special super power which would allow him to wear a cape and tights while causing arch-villains to froth from the nostrils and exclaim, "Ouch. That kind of burns."

2.) "I do" - I actually said this and, when I heard it, I thought to myself, "What the hell possessed me to do something like that?" Come to find out it had something to do with sex and free sex and not having to look for sex; all major accomplishments for a teenage boy. Amazingly, it didn't last.

3.) "You cooked her nines!" - Said by Steve Martin in "The Man with Two Brains". When I heard this line, I knew that the pinnacle of funny had been summited and never, for the rest of existence, could anyone hope to surpass the achievement... Stop looking at me like that! I don't need your pity!

4.) "You know you only have yourself to blame if you wind up with a monkitty" - said to me by Valkyrie on March 29, 2007. Think about it, a freakin' monkitty! What more need I say?

5.) Oops.

Well, that was fun. Now I guess I need to tag someone. Let me think on it for a little while. Hmmm. Who has washed recently?

P.S. Upon re-reading the actual message I received about doing this post it seems I actually was supposed to write five things. It is almost humorous that in sarcastically pretending I could not follow the rules, or remember what they were, I forgot them and, thus, did not follow them. Like I said, it is almost humorous. Anyway...

5.) "If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle" - Said by Tom Robbins (or actually written by him, as we don't often talk) in "Even Cowgirls Get the Blues", my first Robbins experience. Never has anyone spoken something that rang so true and, yet, so filled me with sadness. I've based my life on this quote and the minute I figure out what it means, everything could possibly fall into place.